Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
