I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
