i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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