Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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