my sisters under your porch take her home
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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