$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
