I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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