return my video game
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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