I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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