I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
