Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
