No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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