do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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