can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize