I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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