google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
