508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
