i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
