she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize