she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
