We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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