Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We need to get me chipped asap
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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