if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
This is classic penis vs brain.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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