ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
