last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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