the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
