can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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