i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
