Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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