Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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