susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
