I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
