I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
