It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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