Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
