It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
