I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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