Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
