I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
