Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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