not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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