You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My bed is full of blood and feathers
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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