Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
