When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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