spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
