U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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