would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
