Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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