In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
