Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
