this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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