Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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