it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I want her autograph on my taint
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
