I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
